Reading the Vibes: A Lenormand Reading

I mentioned in my last blog my family situation, specifically the dynamics of my dysfunctional family.  I think I may have mentioned there are scant few blood family members in my family left.  What I have are:  my only sibling, a half brother who is eight years younger than I.  His wife, my SIL who is ten years younger than I, their two children, my niece and nephew.  Then three maternal aunts and one uncle, he married my Aunt Rhoda.  As for cousins, Rhoda and Keith's three sons who I have not seen in fifty years.  Then my Aunt Judith's two children, my cousin Boppie who is ten years older than I and my only female cousin living.  Then her half brother, my cousin AJ who I met once when he was  a baby, fifty years ago.  And my own two sons and four grandsons.  No surviving family members on my father's side, they died out nearly fifty years ago.  Both my parents passed away yrs ago.  So thats it.  My half brother has TBI (traumatic brain injury from an accident ten yrs ago) as does my niece.  So its really challenging to have a relationship with both of them at times.  My nephew rocks, he is very kind and loving, compassionate and caring, odd considering how his parents are.  He is the closest. 


I had reconnected to Boppie as I mentioned in my last blog and was working on building a relationship with her again when my SIL pulled the rug out from under my feet and destroyed that.  But the why of it is what is troubling me.  Its a vibe I am getting.  It all began with introducing them all last summer and a family get together at SIL and my half brother's place.  The sparks flew, they connected, I smiled, felt it was a wonderful time.  My half brother had not known our aunts not cousin and her husband.  Boppie and Chuck were home for the summer and I happened to be down for a visit at the same time.  So in August before Boppie left back for Florida, I had left a month before, was sick with a really strange respiratory problem, they got together again.  Plans were made to get together this August again.  The only problem was and is.........my SIL never informed me nor invited me to this get together.  I didn't know anything about it until January when Boppie called and said her and Chuck were going to be in Maine this summer and why don't we get together?  Sure, would love to.  Then she went on to say, "And if you are so inclined ride back with us to NY for the family get together."  I fell silent on my end of the call, my blood ran cold, my throat went dry and my stomach fluttered, I felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach.  OMGSS How could my SIL do this?  I can't go unless I am invited and she never did, even though I talked with her in November about going to Florida to spend time with Boppie and Chuck with her. 

Then things really CHANGED in March/April when SIL went to Florida to visit them, now mind you, she just met them last summer and doesn't KNOW them, complete strangers and she goes down to visit.  Odd but then like I said my family is dysfunctional.  Boppie stopped calling me, stopped talking to me on Facebook, not a peep.  Not even a like or comment.  Then by accident I talked with my half brother and he said in a bragging tone how close SIL is to our Aunt Rhoda and Uncle Keith and how they talk everyday.  Then he mentioned the August get together and I was stumped and shocked, told him I didn't know.  He said to make plans to come.  I said get me a date and time.  Its been over a month, crickets!  Then I mentioned Boppie and Chuck coming here to Maine this summer and he said no, plans were changed, they are spending three weeks at his house camping in their RV's.  Hmmmm..........odd but it felt true and yet so unlike Boppie to tell me.  Something was wrong, went wrong and SIL is the culprit.  But what did she say?  Do?  Then last week out of the blue Boppie restricted me from her Facebook page, all I see are cover photos and profiles, no longer family pictures or those of her beautiful gardens and dogs.  War is in the air, I smell it. 

I am insulted, offended, heartbroken, and aghast at the level they all have stooped to.  But not surprising because SIL likes to stir the shitpot and she LOVES meddling in my personal family affairs.  My half brother told me that She and my violent and abusive DIL talk often on Facebook.  OMGSS!!!!!!!  That DIL is deeply psychologically disturbed and had she done to a stranger what she did to my son she'd still be in prison and never have had the luxury of being a parent.  She tried to kill my son not once, not twice, but three times that he mentioned to us.  Then he goes back to her, we let it go gave her a chance.  Then in 2012 she severed all contact with us.  My half brother does not understand the pain that happened and the hateful hurtful things he said to us before the sever. 

So long story here, thank you for bearing with me, but I did a Lenormand reading on the situation with my SIL and Boppie.  This is what I got: 

This is a past, present, future spread, nine cards.  The snake is the card that represents what the reading is about as its the middle card.  Spot on, SIL.  The top row is the past, middle present, last future.  My interpretation is:

Past:  storm clouds were brewing and when SIL took her trip to Florida she set the foundation for the heartbreak

Present:   SIL, the snake worked to kill the relationship and sever ties with the scythe.  

Future:  I am the fortune tell so I should expect some form of communication from either my niece of nephew shortly regarding this mess.  I dunno though, I could be wrong.

Bottom line, at the end of this day and every day forward, I will always have a dysfunctional family and its not healthy for me.  I need to let them go.  Its sad, sure could have used their love and support but there isn't any they are capable of giving, not can they be loyal and honest.  Its not within their being to be caring, nurturing, and loving.  I've learned that the hard way.  So to them I fly the bird high and mighty!  

I Feel so SAD, MAD and TORN!

When you are diagnosed with cancer many have a support network they can fall back on and embrace, especially family.  I do NOT have that luxury.  Long story there, involves a few generations of estrangement and a nasty family situation.  Not my doing.  I would think that my brother, his wife, my cousin and aunts and uncle would be appreciative of who is still remaining in their lives and embrace them but instead they have chosen to be rude, crude, evil, nasty, and have gone the way of alienation.  My sister in-law could not say a nice word to me if it were scripted and she were paid to act!  She is that evil.  Nasty evil bitch she is, controlling and abusive.  I will tell the story in the next few days.  My blood (males mind ya) married individuals that are ABUSIVE and TOXIC!!!! They lack intelligence, understanding, compassion, nurturing, caring, and love.  It began with my father, then my brother, then my oldest son and then my niece, my brother's daughter.  It hurts and I wish I had my family to support me but instead I only have a small circle of what I consider my true family......friends and sisters, not blood but more than blood. 

I have NOT told any of them my situation and don't plan to.  Did I tell you what our oldest son told me in a phone conversation about 5 yrs ago?  Oh it was awful, scary too.  I was recovering from my heart attack and he asked specific questions related to our personal medical information.  Then he told me that when it was time he was going to put me and my husband, his step-father, into a nursing home.  Then he was going to obtain power of attorney and become executor of our estate and he could because he was the oldest.  Oh, and if we ever dared give our nephew (yes, something good became of my brother and hateful SIL) as far as inheritance he was going to piss on our graves.  Now what kind of person, let alone child says that to their parents?  That was hateful and disrespectful.  The timing when he said it was just weeks after his uncles, my ex and his brothers placed his grandparents into assertive living.  None of the four sons wanted to take care of them.  It was cold and cruel, the 2nd oldest son inherited the house they lived in, he told them to move in and then when his dad got sick they kicked them out.  So sad, hope they are done like they did their parents!  Cause it greatly influenced my older son.

I am tired of the hate.  I am tired of crying my eyes out at times over this.  Its so sad.   And shame on my cousin Boppie and her rude, crude, shrewd, and crass actions toward me because of my  vindictive SIL who hates me and I still have yet to know why.  Believe it or not, Boppie is a retired RN.  She should be compassionate and caring but is hateful and controlled.  I did nothing to her, said nothing, she is just so hateful.  I could write a book about her and maybe I should.  But Boppie is controlled by an abusive husband so that explains a lot.  I just saw her again last summer after 25 yrs and it was so nice, but then I made the fatal mistake and introduced my bother and SIL to my cousin and lost my cousin cause my SIL hates me.  So juvenile.  So sad.  

I have more to say but I am tired.  I shall write more in the family situation soon.  I am still digesting my cousin's cold and crass treatment of me on facebook.  But then she could not even be there for her daughter after her daughter's boyfriend died.    She is estranged from her son, has been for 15 yrs now, seems the problem is her, not her children, her mother, my aunt (need to tell you about that) or me, but speaks volumes about her.  It still hurts though, wish she could be here for me since she is my only living female relative near my age.  I was looking forward to reconnecting on our old age, I looked up to her as a child, she is 10 yrs older than I.  Wish my bother could be here for me too but he hates me, he also has TBI.  And I need to get some rest.  More coming soon,.  Thank you for reading this.  Hugs and Love.  <3